Five Months of Growth

I no longer have to hold my hair back to show my gray in my photos! Should I be excited about that? Too late. Already there. There are even some parts that if I cut them a little shorter would be all silver (like my bangs). Though I think it might be weird to have gray bangs. I’m not sure why I feel that, but there it is.

Re-reading this last paragraph, it’s obvious how uncertain I still am about going gray.

I have continued stalking other peoples’ post about their journeys and gaining some solace from their insights. One woman wrote that you really need to be ready to be gray, and I have to wonder if I am. The problem is, my gray hair is so healthy! It adds a lot of life to my hair that it didn’t have when it was dyed to within an inch of its life. So I kind of don’t want to let that part go.

Another woman talked about needing to be confident in who you are no matter your hair color, and I’m trying to do that. In fact, I’ve felt pretty good about myself for a while now. I don’t beat myself up over imagined or real flaws hardly ever anymore. I’m not too worried about what other people think of how I look, either. But going gray is testing me. My trepidation makes me think my confidence in myself isn’t as strong as I’d like to think. But I also haven’t given up on this journey yet, so maybe I am strong. I guess I won’t really know until my hair is completely grown out and the transition has been made.

Which won’t be for a good long while.

That being said, just because I don’t like gray hair on me shouldn’t mean I’m not confident in myself. Right? This is getting confusing. At any rate, I shouldn’t let my hair color dictate how I feel about myself. So maybe I’m testing myself. Maybe that’s what this is all about.

Who knew this would be so hard? People have said it would be, but you won’t know until you go through it. I think the 3-4 months of growth time have been the hardest so far for me. This last month was not as bad, though there have been some harder moments. Another woman wrote she almost went straight home and dyed her hair after seeing herself in a mirror at some store. I definitely have felt that way a few times. When she got home, she thought she didn’t look so bad anymore and chalked it up to bad lighting.

Maybe I should just chalk up all my age-related issues to bad lighting.

The journey continues…