My husband always has a way of making life interesting. We finally closed on our new house, signed all the papers, gave away a lot of money, and were leaving the building when it happened.
My husband started to choke…
Yes, that’s what I said. He started to choke. We were in the parking lot at Re/Max and he began making weird noises (okay, that’s not the unusual part). He could not talk, nor could he breathe. All signs of imminent death, I believe, resulting from a blockage of the windus pipius (sorry to get so technical on you).
This is how it happened. My hubby has Type I diabetes and during the closing he started to get low blood sugar (I could tell because he was actually trying to read what he was signing). To raise his blood sugar, he takes glucose (fast acting sugar tablets that are about the size of a 50-cent piece – they kind of look like giant Smarties and yes, my children covet them). While we were in the parking lot he decided to take one more for good measure. A moment after he popped the glucose tab into his mouth, he saw a bumper sticker with a picture of George W. Bush on it looking rather goofy, accompanied by the letters WTF? My husband started to laugh, sucked back the glucose tablet and essentially blocked his windpipe. Once I ascertained that he was choking, I had to do something. So I did the Heimlich on him.
Now, I don’t know if any of you have ever had to perform the Heimlich, but I imagine it’s not something most people think about doing. Unless you have kids. They choke on things all the time – at least my part human, part vacuum cleaners do (I’m still not sure if they actually chew). The point is that I’ve visualized doing the ‘maneuver’ many times and partially had to do it a few times on my little rugrats (after back slapping, which is the recommended method for alleviating choking, didn’t work). Plus, it didn’t hurt that I’d taken a CPR class, too, so I knew where not to Heimlich. Maybe because of these efforts on my part, the attempt to dislodge the foreign object was very successful, with no internal damage as a result. I must say I’m awfully glad. We still had a lot of heavy lifting yet to do.
So we are now in our new home…alive and kicking. The first week and a half were a tad stressful. I was about ready to drop kick everyone I met (I didn’t care who you were) into next week. But now things are starting to settle down. I can actually check my email, write a blog, sleep. Life is good here on the farm. We have lots of fruit to eat, vegies, too, and lots of space for the kids to play. Though I still have to cook and clean toilets. I was hoping all that would change when we moved.
No such luck.
Despite this hurdle, I am thankful for my life, for this wonderful new home we have, and for Mr. Henry Heimlich. Say hurray!